So, after a somewhat lengthy time apart, my Highschool and Junior High yearbooks and I are together again. The timing is pretty good, as those ‘good ole days’ have been on my mind quite a bit of late. See, the great 10 year reunion is coming up in a month, and somehow someone has convinced me to actually attend. I have mixed feelings about this…

See, I’ve changed a whole lot since then. At least I like to think so. And while I wouldn’t say all of my memories of those days were terrible, not many of them were all that great either. No doubt it is possible that I have forgotten most of what happened, but from what I do remember they weren’t the most pleasant years of my life. Reading all the signatures in these yearbooks didn’t bring back as many memories as I had hoped… It was mostly thought of who on earth were these people, and how do I know them at all? Something tells me seeing them in person will probably be much the same.

I’m trying to think if there are any people from those times that I keep contact with… I worked with a couple people, and we did remember each other from school but not much else. Those that I really considered friends have gone their own ways and most I haven’t talked to for several years. They have their lives, I have mine. Then the image of my old “nemesis” comes up on the page, and I wonder what on earth we had against each other… Would those feelings last longer than those of friends? Guess we’ll see in a few weeks then.

Also, I must admit I am a bit nervous on what to say for the standard 30 second of catching up the past ten years… “So yeah, I worked at the same company in the same job for six years then just got laid off. Nope, not doing anything with my life right now. Oh, and my first marriage fell apart. How about you?” I’ve seen the bios listed, showing wonderful jobs, growing families (though I do realize that one was my choice and don’t regret it), world travel, and real progress in the past 10 years. And here all I can do is wonder if I’ll ever get the Led Zeppelin CDs I lent to one of my old friends back…

I even ran across one of the old friends a few weeks ago, at the store. It was a girl that I had a crush on for quite a while. We had hung out, spent quite a while talking about all sorts of things… I would have considered her a friend. Haven’t seen her since graduation. All I got was a “hi” and she kept walking. Can’t really say I expected much more, but had hoped. In her defense, I really don’t look at all like I did back then and she might not have realized who I was. At least that’s what I tell myself!

How I look is also causing a bit of concern for me. My chosen presentation is something I enjoy, something my wife enjoys, and something my friends are at the very least used to. But everywhere else I go, I see and feel the eyes on me… While I do know it’s mostly in my head, I also have lived life both ways recently. When I was clean cut, I never got the same looks as I do now. But I really don’t know why it’s such a concern for me anyway. I am planning on heading to this thing, and spending the entire evening alone with my wife. That is how things tend to go with us on social occasions.

I do feel that I should say I am happy with my life no matter how it looks in comparison. I do know that most the things that will keep me apart from the highschool group are things I have decided to do for myself. I’m not a social person, and I like it that way. I enjoy my friends even if we don’t get together much. I love my family. While currently un-employed and car-less, thing are still going to be ok. Sure I stress… but I know things could be much worse. I don’t regret the choices I’ve made, just the choices other people made for me

But enough of the senseless rambles. I can only guess at how many hundreds of similar journal posts hit the internet every year when the reunions get close. No doubt, I’m not alone in this. Stay tuned for the updates I promised weeks ago, and at some point the report of a ten year school reunion.